








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 210 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2529 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3456 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3574 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2315 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2839 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $272,022 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | custard tanks | 64% | 80 |
| #2 | naetb | 61% | 62 |
| #3 | JADAM | 60% | 159 |
| #4 | [milo] Hambeglin | 60% | 156 |
| #5 | [milo] Berlin | 58% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | [milo] Berlin | 58% | 103 |
| #6 | [milo] Paniik | 56% | 16 |
| #7 | [milo] xlk | 56% | 173 |
| #8 | [milo] boyish | 54% | 83 |
| #9 | [milo] Crowebis | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JADAM | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | [milo] Hambeglin | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | [milo] xlk | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | custard tanks | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JADAM | 976 | 0.28 | 28 min |
| #2 | [milo] Hambeglin | 407 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | [milo] xlk | 370 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | [milo] Berlin | 313 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | custard tanks | 274 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naetb | +1.79 | 78 | 68 |
| #2 | [milo] Berlin | +1.63 | 80 | 69 |
| #3 | JADAM | +1.23 | 68 | 83 |
| #4 | HooseRiice | +0.92 | 75 | 73 |
| #5 | [milo] Paniik | +0.36 | 63 | 60 |





