








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 155 matches | ||
| Renown | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1985 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1964 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2052 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1711 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $904,771 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 370 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [milo] Paniik | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | naetb | 64% | 56 |
| #3 | JADAM | 62% | 103 |
| #4 | custard tanks | 62% | 97 |
| #5 | [milo] Hambeglin | 60% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | [milo] Hambeglin | 60% | 97 |
| #6 | HooseRiice | 58% | 103 |
| #7 | [milo] xlk | 56% | 144 |
| #8 | [milo] boyish | 55% | 33 |
| #9 | [milo] Crowebis | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [milo] xlk | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | custard tanks | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | naetb | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | [milo] Paniik | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | JADAM | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JADAM | 658 | 0.29 | 17 min |
| #2 | HooseRiice | 472 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | custard tanks | 361 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | [milo] xlk | 300 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | [milo] Hambeglin | 296 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naetb | +2.27 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | [milo] Berlin | +1.83 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | JADAM | +0.67 | 65 | 83 |
| #4 | HooseRiice | +0.30 | 75 | 67 |
| #5 | [milo] Paniik | +0.18 | 66 | 67 |





