








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1900 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1416 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1549 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1409 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $184,817 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 448 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R1p | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | Jordanz | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | .Critical | 64% | 22 |
| #4 | CarrytoBarrosoWH | 62% | 29 |
| #5 | keça otîstîk | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | keça otîstîk | 59% | 17 |
| #6 | KrN^ | 58% | 19 |
| #7 | mysteriis | 53% | 15 |
| #8 | BlackFriday | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | bEldAd- | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Critical | 5 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | keça otîstîk | 5 | 0.0158 |
| #3 | Jordanz | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | CarrytoBarrosoWH | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | R1p | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keça otîstîk | 98 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jordanz | 88 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | .Critical | 88 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | CarrytoBarrosoWH | 82 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | R1p | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarrytoBarrosoWH | +2.93 | 86 | 70 |
| #2 | .Critical | +2.41 | 88 | 65 |
| #3 | keça otîstîk | +2.31 | 89 | 60 |
| #4 | BlackFriday | +2.06 | 77 | 53 |
| #5 | Jordanz | +0.87 | 84 | 70 |





