








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 451 matches | ||
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 300 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




92 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9406 | 36% |
| Smokes | 8213 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4035 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4620 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,133,336 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1585 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H4ppy | 79% | 63 |
| #2 | R1p | 61% | 138 |
| #3 | KrN^ | 61% | 344 |
| #4 | CarrytoBarrosoWH | 57% | 564 |
| #5 | Jordanz | 53% | 373 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H4ppy | 79% | 63 |
| #2 | R1p | 61% | 138 |
| #3 | KrN^ | 61% | 344 |
| #4 | CarrytoBarrosoWH | 57% | 564 |
| #5 | Jordanz | 53% | 373 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R1p | 15 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | CarrytoBarrosoWH | 14 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | KrN^ | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Jordanz | 9 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | H4ppy | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarrytoBarrosoWH | 2066 | 0.17 | 47 min |
| #2 | Jordanz | 1714 | 0.21 | 42 min |
| #3 | KrN^ | 980 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #4 | R1p | 331 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | H4ppy | 206 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H4ppy | +4.16 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | .Critical | +1.77 | 83 | 56 |
| #3 | CarrytoBarrosoWH | +1.45 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | Jordanz | +0.74 | 82 | 69 |
| #5 | R1p | +0.09 | 63 | 50 |





