








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1731 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 1059 matches | ||
| Premier | 342 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 284 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13388 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 73,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 24927 | 34% |
| Smokes | 19469 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 12680 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 16537 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,304,339 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2731 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Critical | 30 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | CarrytoBarrosoWH | 18 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | KrN^ | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | R1p | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | broadway- | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarrytoBarrosoWH | 3061 | 0.16 | 72 min |
| #2 | .Critical | 1096 | 0.14 | 25 min |
| #3 | KrN^ | 1012 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #4 | jacki | 705 | 0.24 | 20 min |
| #5 | broadway- | 647 | 0.21 | 21 min |





