








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 411 matches | ||
| Faceit | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,792 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13176 | 30% |
| Smokes | 9420 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 11006 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 10190 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,129,754 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2641 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | RRRIIIBBBYY O.o | 55% | 49 |
| #10 | Jordanz | 53% | 374 |
| #11 | chymo | 47% | 55 |
| #12 | Epyck ✪ | 45% | 44 |
| #13 | korviii | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Critical | 44 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Jordanz | 19 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | R1p | 18 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | CarrytoBarrosoWH | 15 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | H4ppy | 6 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordanz | 1614 | 0.21 | 39 min |
| #2 | .Critical | 1178 | 0.16 | 26 min |
| #3 | CarrytoBarrosoWH | 1151 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #4 | H4ppy | 494 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #5 | R1p | 475 | 0.11 | 11 min |





