








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1447 | 51% |
| Smokes | 183 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 525 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 663 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $678,138 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 658 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st0rmsyy ♡ | 79% | 24 |
| #2 | Sorry | 79% | 14 |
| #3 | eric | 75% | 20 |
| #4 | ǝnolɐM ʎobʍoƆ | 75% | 24 |
| #5 | cooms in my burrito | 72% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | huh??? (feet sniffer) | 19 | 0.0189 |
| #2 | st0rmsyy ♡ | 14 | 0.0299 |
| #3 | ǝnolɐM ʎobʍoƆ | 13 | 0.0293 |
| #4 | caplan (balls) | 12 | 0.0531 |
| #5 | ★Komi | 11 | 0.0208 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | huh??? (feet sniffer) | 199 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | eric | 59 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | ǝnolɐM ʎobʍoƆ | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ☠ | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | st0rmsyy ♡ | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eric | +7.07 | 88 | 70 |
| #2 | st0rmsyy ♡ | +5.90 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | huh??? (feet sniffer) | +4.81 | 73 | 47 |
| #4 | ☠ | +2.42 | 79 | 51 |
| #5 | Lytl Piykl | +2.12 | 59 | 61 |





