








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 550 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 178 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,211 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3913 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3001 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 7015 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 5282 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,593,849 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1091 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0dj^ ___//// | 61% | 71 |
| #2 | ★ Ana R Chy ™ | 50% | 60 |
| #3 | SPEED81 | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | GruenSchnabel | 46% | 106 |
| #5 | sQuirt | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | sQuirt | 46% | 48 |
| #6 | ✪Zendok<3 | 46% | 48 |
| #7 | LuCkMoNsTeR oO | 46% | 59 |
| #8 | Areoon | 44% | 156 |
| #9 | muerfx | 37% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GruenSchnabel | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Areoon | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | muerfx | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ★ Ana R Chy ™ | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | k0dj^ ___//// | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Areoon | 443 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | GruenSchnabel | 229 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | ★ Ana R Chy ™ | 134 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | LuCkMoNsTeR oO | 120 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | k0dj^ ___//// | 106 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0dj^ ___//// | +2.57 | 74 | 72 |
| #2 | The Death is Coming | +0.72 | 53 | 53 |
| #3 | LuCkMoNsTeR oO | -0.08 | 31 | 73 |
| #4 | GruenSchnabel | -0.58 | 31 | 70 |
| #5 | ★ Ana R Chy ™ | -0.79 | 24 | 63 |





