








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1542 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 159 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2931 | 10% |
| Smokes | 6931 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 12923 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 6350 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $8,783,908 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 766 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⊙ Jstn | 53% | 131 |
| #2 | lowfish' | 50% | 98 |
| #3 | ExisTenZ | 48% | 106 |
| #4 | k0dj^ ___//// | 48% | 98 |
| #5 | Jorn | 48% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | k0dj^ ___//// | 48% | 98 |
| #5 | Jorn | 48% | 130 |
| #6 | Bone | 43% | 88 |
| #7 | l4w1 | 43% | 103 |
| #8 | buh | 42% | 245 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buh | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | lowfish' | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | ⊙ Jstn | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Bone | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | k0dj^ ___//// | 5 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buh | 597 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #2 | ⊙ Jstn | 440 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | lowfish' | 223 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Jorn | 174 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | k0dj^ ___//// | 142 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jorn | +1.31 | 67 | 59 |
| #2 | ⊙ Jstn | +0.22 | 51 | 56 |
| #3 | buh | -0.07 | 44 | 72 |
| #4 | k0dj^ ___//// | -0.28 | 61 | 63 |
| #5 | lowfish' | -0.32 | 39 | 66 |





