








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 495 matches | ||
| Wingman | 485 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,586 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3800 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1863 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 11060 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 7863 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,479,916 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 384 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0dj^ ___//// | 43% | 189 |
| #2 | -0PA- | 43% | 517 |
| #3 | .mrweber wa’ | 41% | 83 |
| #4 | GruenSchnabel | 38% | 65 |
| #5 | LuCkMoNsTeR oO | 37% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | .mrweber wa’ | 41% | 83 |
| #4 | GruenSchnabel | 38% | 65 |
| #5 | LuCkMoNsTeR oO | 37% | 63 |
| #6 | kampfkueken1988 | 37% | 126 |
| #7 | t!p | 33% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0dj^ ___//// | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | kampfkueken1988 | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | -0PA- | 5 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | .mrweber wa’ | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | t!p | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0dj^ ___//// | 209 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | .mrweber wa’ | 201 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | GruenSchnabel | 139 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | LuCkMoNsTeR oO | 121 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | kampfkueken1988 | 87 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0dj^ ___//// | +4.08 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | GruenSchnabel | +0.88 | 28 | 73 |
| #3 | .mrweber wa’ | -0.25 | 17 | 72 |
| #4 | LuCkMoNsTeR oO | -0.69 | 24 | 72 |
| #5 | SPEED81 | -1.00 | 48 | 51 |





