








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 551 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2709 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4450 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 4086 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 905 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,037,361 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChuckieBoii | 51% | 65 |
| #2 | Samski | 50% | 140 |
| #3 | snickerdoc | 48% | 54 |
| #4 | pseudophed | 47% | 101 |
| #5 | soul___Reaper | 45% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krueger | 16 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Borslatt | 14 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Eepy | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Samski | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | RadBrad | 9 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Borslatt | 830 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #2 | pseudophed | 371 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | Krueger | 335 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | Eepy | 306 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | Lucifer '>:) | 231 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChuckieBoii | +1.92 | 56 | 56 |
| #2 | snickerdoc | +1.84 | 50 | 50 |
| #3 | Eepy | +1.75 | 77 | 42 |
| #4 | pseudophed | +1.31 | 40 | 66 |
| #5 | Krueger | +1.19 | 69 | 44 |





