








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 673 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 903 matches | ||
| Wingman | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10977 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,762 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6450 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5147 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7622 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3543 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,946,383 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5654 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sedoC | 53% | 72 |
| #2 | pseudophed | 50% | 192 |
| #3 | stetser | 49% | 63 |
| #4 | wankington | 49% | 86 |
| #5 | snickerdoc | 46% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Samski | 43% | 249 |
| #9 | RadBrad | 43% | 68 |
| #10 | Borslatt | 41% | 251 |
| #11 | dlass2010 | 40% | 280 |
| #12 | Burm | 36% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snickerdoc | 15 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Samski | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | sedoC | 12 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Eepy | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | pseudophed | 10 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pseudophed | 724 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | Borslatt | 584 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | dlass2010 | 460 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #4 | Samski | 362 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #5 | Eepy | 359 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snickerdoc | +1.57 | 56 | 46 |
| #2 | ChuckieBoii | +1.32 | 52 | 58 |
| #3 | Eepy | +0.68 | 77 | 43 |
| #4 | wankington | +0.51 | 65 | 57 |
| #5 | pseudophed | +0.08 | 29 | 68 |





