








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 729 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4641 | 45% |
| Smokes | 2208 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2058 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1489 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,136,110 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sedoC | 55% | 53 |
| #2 | wankington | 54% | 48 |
| #3 | pseudophed | 52% | 244 |
| #4 | Samski | 50% | 146 |
| #5 | snickerdoc | 46% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snickerdoc | 14 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Borslatt | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | pseudophed | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Krueger | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | wankington | 7 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pseudophed | 849 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #2 | Borslatt | 815 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #3 | Resiliency | 466 | 0.38 | 14 min |
| #4 | Krueger | 354 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | dlass2010 | 342 | 0.08 | 7 min |





