








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3773 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2507 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3271 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3631 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $945,914 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1288 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheryua | 70% | 132 |
| #2 | scrappy | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | Cronus | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | delilah | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | D1RE | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheryua | 70% | 132 |
| #2 | scrappy | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | Cronus | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | delilah | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | D1RE | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheryua | 17 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | delilah | 4 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | D1RE | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Cronus | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheryua | 275 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | scrappy | 184 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | D1RE | 113 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | Cronus | 101 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | delilah | 100 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ei8htyHD | +3.92 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | scrappy | +2.29 | 87 | 68 |
| #3 | Sheryua | +1.97 | 81 | 47 |
| #4 | delilah | +1.02 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | D1RE | +0.59 | 75 | 78 |





