








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 179 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2925 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2600 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1667 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1355 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1963 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,009 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | taqifaisal | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | aspect | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | Ei8htyHD | 63% | 38 |
| #4 | BanFlash | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | CoreyInTheHouse | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ei8htyHD | 63% | 38 |
| #4 | BanFlash | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | CoreyInTheHouse | 53% | 19 |
| #6 | caZ - LFT | 50% | 16 |
| #7 | D1RE | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ei8htyHD | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | CoreyInTheHouse | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | BanFlash | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ei8htyHD | 126 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | D1RE | 93 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | aspect | 82 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | caZ - LFT | 51 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | BanFlash | 35 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | taqifaisal | +2.15 | 78 | 68 |
| #2 | aspect | +1.38 | 91 | 56 |
| #3 | Ei8htyHD | +1.37 | 81 | 70 |
| #4 | scrappy | +1.31 | 85 | 65 |
| #5 | D1RE | +0.53 | 74 | 76 |





