








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 565 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 379 matches | ||
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




158 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1629 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1956 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1645 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 941 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $974,159 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 657 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lihilf | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | make | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | Bronek | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | astrid | 47% | 112 |
| #5 | Asuka | 47% | 257 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Asuka | 47% | 257 |
| #6 | doogley | 46% | 48 |
| #7 | Cbble1g | 46% | 96 |
| #8 | Ruski=Troll Ilse Koch | 43% | 54 |
| #9 | t | 34% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | astrid | 15 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Cbble1g | 15 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | make | 14 | 0.0196 |
| #4 | Lihilf | 13 | 0.0177 |
| #5 | t | 11 | 0.0121 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | astrid | 169 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Cbble1g | 162 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Asuka | 143 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | doogley | 121 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lihilf | 116 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | astrid | +4.28 | 58 | 36 |
| #2 | Cbble1g | +3.72 | 83 | 39 |
| #3 | Asuka | +1.65 | 44 | 24 |
| #4 | make | +0.49 | 57 | 50 |
| #5 | ricky dicky doo dah christmas | +0.25 | 41 | 21 |





