








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 212 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,940 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1618 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1882 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 285 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 1155 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $234,400 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 584 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | orange | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | Manty ☭ | 55% | 44 |
| #3 | Simp 4 Vampire Girlz | 52% | 61 |
| #4 | ricky dicky doo dah christmas | 47% | 112 |
| #5 | Lunawoo ☾ | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | orange | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | Manty ☭ | 55% | 44 |
| #3 | Simp 4 Vampire Girlz | 52% | 61 |
| #4 | ricky dicky doo dah christmas | 47% | 112 |
| #5 | Lunawoo ☾ | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ricky dicky doo dah christmas | 22 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Manty ☭ | 6 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | orange | 5 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Simp 4 Vampire Girlz | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Lunawoo ☾ | 3 | 0.0128 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ricky dicky doo dah christmas | 42 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #2 | Simp 4 Vampire Girlz | 36 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Manty ☭ | 31 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | orange | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lunawoo ☾ | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simp 4 Vampire Girlz | +5.07 | 87 | 37 |
| #2 | astrid | +2.90 | 53 | 40 |
| #3 | orange | +0.82 | 83 | 53 |
| #4 | Lunawoo ☾ | +0.40 | 49 | 31 |
| #5 | Manty ☭ | +0.13 | 76 | 40 |





