








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,372 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 793 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1633 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 800 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1146 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $862,897 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | GeraldoNFT.eth - BAYC #5836 | 51% | 145 |
| #8 | GirthLord420BongSmoke | 48% | 54 |
| #9 | VIGORS | 48% | 111 |
| #10 | JBoogieWoogie | 46% | 71 |
| #11 | RoachClip 中空 | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xaphan | 22 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | GeraldoNFT.eth - BAYC #5836 | 20 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | JBoogieWoogie | 15 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | VIGORS | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | GirthLord420BongSmoke | 6 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VIGORS | 171 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | JBoogieWoogie | 106 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Xaphan | 104 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | GeraldoNFT.eth - BAYC #5836 | 95 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Probably got bit by a .G.O.A.T. | 86 | 0.07 | 1 min |





