








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 828 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1632 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1602 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1415 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $923,257 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Triple | 54% | 114 |
| #10 | VIGORS | 54% | 160 |
| #11 | JBoogieWoogie | 53% | 87 |
| #12 | RoachClip 中空 | 53% | 93 |
| #13 | GirthLord420BongSmoke | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GeraldoNFT.eth - BAYC #5836 | 19 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | JBoogieWoogie | 17 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | VIGORS | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | smells like rain | 11 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Triple | 8 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VIGORS | 178 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | GeraldoNFT.eth - BAYC #5836 | 144 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | XXRumple4Skin | 97 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | JBoogieWoogie | 95 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Probably got bit by a .G.O.A.T. | 94 | 0.07 | 1 min |





