










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,763 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3851 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3390 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3218 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3304 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,477,968 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 959 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niga theres elephant behind me | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | 76561198982741380 | 58% | 79 |
| #3 | KING VON IF HE WAS FROM 63RD | 54% | 61 |
| #4 | ginger | 51% | 108 |
| #5 | Truly Humble Under God | 47% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | KING VON IF HE WAS FROM 63RD | 54% | 61 |
| #4 | ginger | 51% | 108 |
| #5 | Truly Humble Under God | 47% | 90 |
| #6 | Mangecouilles | 46% | 28 |
| #7 | Zusmoka ⭕⃤ | 46% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KING VON IF HE WAS FROM 63RD | 13 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Zusmoka ⭕⃤ | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | 76561198982741380 | 10 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | niga theres elephant behind me | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | ginger | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ginger | 368 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Zusmoka ⭕⃤ | 361 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | KING VON IF HE WAS FROM 63RD | 332 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #4 | Truly Humble Under God | 325 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #5 | Mangecouilles | 173 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zusmoka ⭕⃤ | +3.44 | 89 | 61 |
| #2 | KING VON IF HE WAS FROM 63RD | +0.57 | 75 | 75 |
| #3 | igor7lp | +0.16 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | Truly Humble Under God | +0.02 | 74 | 70 |
| #5 | ginger | -0.23 | 65 | 61 |





