








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 503 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 81 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




181 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3443 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4575 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3263 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2637 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,953,190 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 960 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moe Lester | 67% | 75 |
| #2 | igor7lp | 58% | 79 |
| #3 | ginger | 58% | 171 |
| #4 | KING VON IF HE WAS FROM 63RD | 54% | 294 |
| #5 | niga theres elephant behind me | 54% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KING VON IF HE WAS FROM 63RD | 123 | 0.0207 |
| #2 | niga theres elephant behind me | 39 | 0.0201 |
| #3 | ginger | 30 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Moe Lester | 30 | 0.0201 |
| #5 | 𝓓̲𝓘̲𝓝̲𝓖̲ 𝓓̲ | 26 | 0.0216 |





