








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 654 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 402 matches | ||
| Faceit | 197 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4870 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,932 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5284 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7250 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6126 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4272 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,339,606 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ckW1ck | 69% | 62 |
| #2 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 58% | 67 |
| #3 | DirtMcGirt | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ckW1ck | 69% | 62 |
| #2 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 58% | 67 |
| #3 | DirtMcGirt | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ckW1ck | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | DirtMcGirt | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ckW1ck | 670 | 0.49 | 12 min |
| #2 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 234 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | DirtMcGirt | 148 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ckW1ck | +0.90 | 29 | 58 |
| #2 | $ulfuric | +0.33 | 68 | 61 |
| #3 | DirtMcGirt | -0.37 | 47 | 45 |
| #4 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | -1.20 | 25 | 65 |





