








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 615 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Wingman | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 263 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4003 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1402 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1601 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2723 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 828 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,540,433 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3407 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wawa | 58% | 130 |
| #2 | John Minion | 50% | 123 |
| #3 | BigDracEnergy | 49% | 341 |
| #4 | Full Stop. jkatsuki | 49% | 126 |
| #5 | Whip Hybrid #1 Fan | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wawa | 36 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | John Minion | 36 | 0.0143 |
| #3 | Spyder | 15 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | BigDracEnergy | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Full Stop. jkatsuki | 13 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Minion | 461 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | Spyder | 297 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Michael B. Ballin | 229 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | BigDracEnergy | 227 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #5 | Wawa | 217 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Full Stop. jkatsuki | +3.63 | 58 | 51 |
| #2 | Wawa | +3.49 | 75 | 40 |
| #3 | Michael B. Ballin | +2.68 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | Spyder | +1.25 | 75 | 31 |
| #5 | BigDracEnergy | +0.79 | 38 | 53 |





