










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,770 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 129 | 3% |
| Smokes | 1325 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1470 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 846 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $666,940 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wawa | 53% | 51 |
| #2 | John Minion | 42% | 55 |
| #3 | aglet | 39% | 129 |
| #4 | mythril anvil | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | BigDracEnergy | 38% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aglet | 30 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | John Minion | 26 | 0.0252 |
| #3 | Wawa | 19 | 0.0191 |
| #4 | Spyder | 17 | 0.0131 |
| #5 | BigDracEnergy | 7 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Minion | 214 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Spyder | 152 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | BigDracEnergy | 92 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | aglet | 91 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Wawa | 71 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wawa | +5.21 | 75 | 33 |
| #2 | Spyder | +4.26 | 80 | 18 |
| #3 | John Minion | +0.94 | 73 | 57 |
| #4 | BigDracEnergy | +0.69 | 29 | 46 |
| #5 | mythril anvil | +0.62 | 42 | 34 |





