








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,284 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1099 | 33% |
| Smokes | 694 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 978 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 513 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,769 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Night | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Shevalo | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | ✪ KOLLY | 45% | 73 |
| #4 | Kenion | 45% | 110 |
| #5 | Chōsō | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Night | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Shevalo | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | ✪ KOLLY | 45% | 73 |
| #4 | Kenion | 45% | 110 |
| #5 | Chōsō | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenion | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Chōsō | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | ✪ KOLLY | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Shevalo | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Night | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ KOLLY | 509 | 0.32 | 15 min |
| #2 | Kenion | 210 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Shevalo | 80 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Chōsō | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Night | 22 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ KOLLY | +1.58 | 68 | 76 |
| #2 | Shevalo | +1.35 | 64 | 83 |
| #3 | Night | +1.30 | 69 | 69 |
| #4 | Chōsō | +0.65 | 70 | 44 |
| #5 | Kenion | +0.44 | 63 | 65 |





