








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
908 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1511 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1134 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1240 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1010 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $175,897 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 575 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fenris | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Night | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | SynteC_ | 82% | 11 |
| #4 | N O R D Q V 1 S T | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | rootexecute | 63% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | N O R D Q V 1 S T | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | rootexecute | 63% | 19 |
| #6 | Kenion | 56% | 88 |
| #7 | 🗿⃤⃢j🍷nzN^__^ | 50% | 8 |
| #8 | Chōsō | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chōsō | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | rootexecute | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | fenris | 1 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Night | 1 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenion | 161 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Chōsō | 53 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | rootexecute | 49 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | 🗿⃤⃢j🍷nzN^__^ | 25 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | SynteC_ | 23 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SynteC_ | +2.90 | 87 | 76 |
| #2 | N O R D Q V 1 S T | +2.64 | 87 | 66 |
| #3 | fenris | +2.26 | 86 | 72 |
| #4 | Chōsō | +0.86 | 66 | 46 |
| #5 | Kenion | +0.59 | 72 | 60 |





