








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 704 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 302 matches | ||
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




96 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5086 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5228 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3764 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 7485 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,450,198 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kyyro | 56% | 373 |
| #5 | Zifious | 54% | 188 |
| #6 | Derumisis | 50% | 127 |
| #7 | Randumb | 46% | 105 |
| #8 | lil' Andy | 43% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyyro | 91 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | chili | 52 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | lil' Andy | 19 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Derumisis | 16 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Zifious | 15 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyyro | 716 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #2 | chili | 674 | 0.07 | 25 min |
| #3 | lil' Andy | 494 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #4 | Zifious | 183 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | xefyer | 153 | 0.10 | 4 min |





