








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 411 | 49% |
| Smokes | 31 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 149 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 240 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $317,386 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Derumisis | 49% | 134 |
| #6 | lil' Andy | 46% | 120 |
| #7 | Joke | 46% | 105 |
| #8 | Chad Warden | 36% | 14 |
| #9 | bobby lewis | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyyro | 42 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | chili | 28 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Joke | 17 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Derumisis | 15 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | lil' Andy | 6 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chili | 397 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | lil' Andy | 338 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | Kyyro | 312 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Derumisis | 221 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Joke | 63 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chili | +8.84 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | Chad Warden | +4.52 | 65 | 45 |
| #3 | Kyyro | +2.34 | 49 | 53 |
| #4 | Derumisis | -0.40 | 53 | 41 |
| #5 | Joke | -0.80 | 29 | 61 |





