








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 320 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




102 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4197 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3159 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5328 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5234 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,819,283 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 765 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Joke | 60% | 466 |
| #5 | Kyyro | 60% | 551 |
| #6 | Derumisis | 58% | 246 |
| #7 | Randumb | 58% | 171 |
| #8 | lil' Andy | 52% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyyro | 116 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Joke | 53 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Derumisis | 31 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | lil' Andy | 17 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | xefyer | 10 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyyro | 963 | 0.09 | 25 min |
| #2 | lil' Andy | 703 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #3 | Derumisis | 372 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #4 | xefyer | 307 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Randumb | 222 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chili | +7.20 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | xefyer | +3.72 | 91 | 54 |
| #3 | Kyyro | +0.99 | 52 | 52 |
| #4 | Derumisis | -1.12 | 49 | 42 |
| #5 | Joke | -2.49 | 32 | 54 |





