








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2136 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1374 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1241 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1154 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1534 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,046,033 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 641 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uNc | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | gamer123 | 66% | 53 |
| #3 | Eirikw0o | 63% | 63 |
| #4 | 0lseNツ | 61% | 59 |
| #5 | reAz | 59% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | dani | 56% | 63 |
| #8 | sebzi | 52% | 27 |
| #9 | Bondz | 50% | 26 |
| #10 | Fossy | 44% | 25 |
| #11 | ✪gayboy69 | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪gayboy69 | 19 | 0.0381 |
| #2 | 0lseNツ | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | reAz | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | gamer123 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Eirikw0o | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reAz | 547 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | mek | 284 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | dani | 181 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | gamer123 | 168 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | 0lseNツ | 166 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reAz | +3.40 | 72 | 72 |
| #2 | uNc | +2.85 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | ✪gayboy69 | +1.45 | 56 | 61 |
| #4 | mek | +1.27 | 68 | 51 |
| #5 | Fossy | +0.85 | 75 | 45 |





