








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1375 | 44% |
| Smokes | 668 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 240 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 817 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $553,537 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | im just Ken | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | Even | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | uNc | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | 0lseNツ | 74% | 19 |
| #5 | Eirikw0o | 68% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gamer123 | 6 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Even | 6 | 0.0296 |
| #3 | dani | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ◥◣ S4MzUnG4k ◢◤ | 2 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | Pussy Pirate | 2 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reAz | 315 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | dani | 168 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | sirisakthenut | 165 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | gamer123 | 145 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | im just Ken | 70 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uNc | +3.26 | 64 | 43 |
| #2 | reAz | +2.99 | 72 | 72 |
| #3 | Even | +2.24 | 73 | 49 |
| #4 | mek | +2.07 | 71 | 50 |
| #5 | im just Ken | +1.81 | 76 | 64 |





