








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




536 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8890 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 937 | 5% |
| Smokes | 6690 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 7284 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 5605 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,323,250 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 514 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheTamer | 68% | 139 |
| #2 | Cross | 63% | 80 |
| #3 | back tizzy | 61% | 119 |
| #4 | BabyJ3sus17 | 59% | 74 |
| #5 | Agent_47 | 56% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiger | 60 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | TheTamer | 56 | 0.0210 |
| #3 | back tizzy | 34 | 0.0143 |
| #4 | masteryoda02 | 32 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | Merc | 28 | 0.0195 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Earth_Angel | 450 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | Cross | 384 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #3 | masteryoda02 | 370 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | back tizzy | 298 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | TheTamer | 297 | 0.11 | 8 min |





