








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 280 matches | ||
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




130 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1415 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1634 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1762 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3746 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,091,641 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BabyJ3sus17 | 47% | 144 |
| #2 | B1g_j3sus17 | 43% | 250 |
| #3 | JBella | 42% | 228 |
| #4 | Gem-II-ni | 40% | 233 |
| #5 | masteryoda02 | 37% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JBella | 130 | 0.0286 |
| #2 | masteryoda02 | 42 | 0.0168 |
| #3 | BabyJ3sus17 | 37 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | B1g_j3sus17 | 24 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Emosaurus Rex | 19 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Earth_Angel | 869 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #2 | Gho$t | 557 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Emosaurus Rex | 416 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | masteryoda02 | 232 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | BabyJ3sus17 | 151 | 0.06 | 2 min |





