








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




147 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3334 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2865 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2683 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 648 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $768,460 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | back tizzy | 82% | 34 |
| #2 | Cross | 77% | 31 |
| #3 | BabyJ3sus17 | 70% | 50 |
| #4 | Earth_Angel | 70% | 43 |
| #5 | JBella | 68% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JBella | 75 | 0.0283 |
| #2 | masteryoda02 | 24 | 0.0154 |
| #3 | Tiger | 17 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | BabyJ3sus17 | 15 | 0.0155 |
| #5 | B1g_j3sus17 | 13 | 0.0075 |





