








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1514 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 346 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 129 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,426 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8606 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6591 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7445 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 9784 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,434,503 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 845 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Indy | 49% | 75 |
| #2 | hobbes | 45% | 161 |
| #3 | JBella | 44% | 194 |
| #4 | Emosaurus Rex | 41% | 152 |
| #5 | Gem-II-ni | 41% | 420 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phil MaCooter | 836 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | Emosaurus Rex | 591 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | Gho$t | 251 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Gem-II-ni | 190 | 0.02 | 5 min |
| #5 | Indy | 132 | 0.08 | 3 min |





