








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 385 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 141 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4485 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,959 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5308 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5271 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5657 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4723 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,736,602 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majo | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | gel!tten | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | Phil0 | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | el flosho | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | -_-zZZ Nubsey | 55% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el flosho | 6 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | InfiniT | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | matscherr | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | SpitzhackenJoe | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | vasan | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majo | +3.21 | 56 | 71 |
| #2 | fuchsiie | +2.40 | 87 | 58 |
| #3 | el flosho | +2.10 | 70 | 61 |
| #4 | vasan | +1.13 | 79 | 59 |
| #5 | SpitzhackenJoe | +0.97 | 71 | 87 |





