








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1047 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 672 matches | ||
| Wingman | 100 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,678 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10498 | 29% |
| Smokes | 9948 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8568 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6664 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,329,929 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 594 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuchsiie | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | Majo | 54% | 63 |
| #3 | kvbalele.de | 52% | 143 |
| #4 | Phil0 | 51% | 72 |
| #5 | vasan | 51% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matscherr | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Majo | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | gel!tten | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | SpitzhackenJoe | 2 | 0.0001 |
| #5 | Fow-T | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuchsiie | +3.03 | 86 | 68 |
| #2 | Majo | +1.93 | 56 | 72 |
| #3 | vasan | +1.71 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | SpitzhackenJoe | +1.12 | 72 | 84 |
| #5 | matscherr | +0.89 | 75 | 65 |





