








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 290 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 720 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5961 | 20% |
| Smokes | 7793 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9009 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 6404 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,878,009 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | -_-zZZ Nubsey | 48% | 209 |
| #7 | InfiniT | 48% | 251 |
| #8 | vasan | 47% | 158 |
| #9 | 2764*TacoCorp. | 47% | 45 |
| #10 | kvbalele.de | 46% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuchsiie | +2.57 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | SpitzhackenJoe | +1.02 | 71 | 84 |
| #3 | vasan | +0.84 | 81 | 61 |
| #4 | kvbalele.de | +0.77 | 73 | 67 |
| #5 | matscherr | +0.52 | 76 | 62 |





