








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2749 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,699 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2934 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2083 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2450 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2232 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $552,363 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juno | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | Tomfoolery | 47% | 96 |
| #3 | Tomathan Wickard | 46% | 274 |
| #4 | Tom of Rivia | 45% | 137 |
| #5 | Gangster Farmer Tom | 44% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | greg | 43% | 28 |
| #7 | Plum1x | 42% | 189 |
| #8 | Gangsta Tom | 37% | 71 |
| #9 | Hookerwithatube | 35% | 49 |
| #10 | Big Ol Balls | 34% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomathan Wickard | 35 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Gangster Farmer Tom | 25 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Gangsta Tom | 21 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | Tom of Rivia | 15 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Tomfoolery | 13 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomathan Wickard | 307 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #2 | Plum1x | 195 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Gangsta Tom | 120 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gangster Farmer Tom | 119 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Big Ol Balls | 64 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomathan Wickard | +4.31 | 83 | 37 |
| #2 | Gangster Farmer Tom | +3.74 | 75 | 43 |
| #3 | Juno | +2.56 | 74 | 31 |
| #4 | Tomfoolery | +0.64 | 60 | 24 |
| #5 | Tom of Rivia | +0.32 | 30 | 19 |





