








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,981 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 444 | 15% |
| Smokes | 659 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 775 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1103 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $530,293 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juno | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Tomfoolery | 54% | 48 |
| #3 | Tom of Rivia | 51% | 61 |
| #4 | Plum1x | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | Tomathan Wickard | 46% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tomathan Wickard | 46% | 94 |
| #6 | bean | 44% | 137 |
| #7 | Hookerwithatube | 41% | 27 |
| #8 | Gangsta Tom | 29% | 17 |
| #9 | Big Ol Balls | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bean | 20 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Tomathan Wickard | 16 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Tomfoolery | 7 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Tom of Rivia | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Plum1x | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bean | 349 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Tomathan Wickard | 114 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Plum1x | 75 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gangsta Tom | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tomfoolery | 22 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gangster Farmer Tom | +3.73 | 75 | 43 |
| #2 | Tomathan Wickard | +3.34 | 83 | 38 |
| #3 | Juno | +1.78 | 81 | 25 |
| #4 | Tomfoolery | +0.47 | 59 | 28 |
| #5 | Tom of Rivia | -0.60 | 32 | 17 |





