








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 164 | 15% |
| Smokes | 200 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 504 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 209 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $559,253 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuZ | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Einstein | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Shaquille O´Neal | 52% | 93 |
| #4 | Josef Fritzl | 51% | 189 |
| #5 | PILLUMIES | 47% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Shaquille O´Neal | 52% | 93 |
| #4 | Josef Fritzl | 51% | 189 |
| #5 | PILLUMIES | 47% | 104 |
| #6 | Opera | 39% | 38 |
| #7 | CASINO | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josef Fritzl | 103 | 0.0278 |
| #2 | PILLUMIES | 34 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | Shaquille O´Neal | 32 | 0.0179 |
| #4 | JuZ | 8 | 0.0205 |
| #5 | Opera | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josef Fritzl | 464 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Shaquille O´Neal | 154 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | JuZ | 82 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | PILLUMIES | 67 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Opera | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuZ | +8.73 | 76 | 28 |
| #2 | Josef Fritzl | +3.63 | 50 | 60 |
| #3 | Opera | +3.06 | 58 | 60 |
| #4 | simppeli | +0.20 | 25 | 14 |
| #5 | Shaquille O´Neal | -0.67 | 24 | 26 |





