








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 341 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 225 matches | ||
| Wingman | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




315 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5021 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7480 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 6313 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3322 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,349,487 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1429 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Einstein | 56% | 50 |
| #2 | simppeli | 51% | 189 |
| #3 | Shaquille O´Neal | 48% | 132 |
| #4 | PILLUMIES | 46% | 354 |
| #5 | Burkki | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PILLUMIES | 46% | 354 |
| #5 | Burkki | 45% | 42 |
| #6 | JuZ | 43% | 82 |
| #7 | Opera | 41% | 128 |
| #8 | CASINO | 27% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PILLUMIES | 109 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | simppeli | 59 | 0.0158 |
| #3 | Shaquille O´Neal | 46 | 0.0173 |
| #4 | Opera | 16 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | JuZ | 16 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuZ | 279 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Shaquille O´Neal | 207 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | PILLUMIES | 204 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #4 | Opera | 165 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Burkki | 110 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuZ | +4.52 | 68 | 33 |
| #2 | Josef Fritzl | +3.49 | 54 | 59 |
| #3 | Opera | +2.16 | 61 | 57 |
| #4 | simppeli | -0.16 | 23 | 14 |
| #5 | Shaquille O´Neal | -1.07 | 24 | 30 |





