








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1550 | 47% |
| Smokes | 961 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 161 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 657 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,955 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | OFaR | 38% | 24 |
| #11 | Kobey | 33% | 6 |
| #12 | xCob | 29% | 7 |
| #13 | JeffLaFlavor | 29% | 7 |
| #14 | The World's Luckiest Man Webtoon | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OFaR | 8 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | Tony | 3 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | blakert- | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Exploding | 2 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | The World's Luckiest Man Webtoon | 2 | 0.0147 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OFaR | 146 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #2 | blakert- | 104 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Trottah | 72 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gn Streaks | 51 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | The World's Luckiest Man Webtoon | 48 | 0.35 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blakert- | +5.36 | 85 | 57 |
| #2 | CRADDOCK | +3.36 | 79 | 46 |
| #3 | Tony | +2.39 | 69 | 69 |
| #4 | Trottah | +2.07 | 77 | 63 |
| #5 | Kobey | +1.53 | 89 | 52 |





