








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 717 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 116 matches | ||
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




122 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,180 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10311 | 39% |
| Smokes | 4545 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 5699 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5625 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,207,652 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voilà | 69% | 67 |
| #2 | Gurtz | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | Cicolini | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | ʻO Noa ke aliʻi | 51% | 105 |
| #5 | V1nson | 51% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | 🍄 sav 🍄 | 48% | 42 |
| #10 | lil trash panda | 48% | 84 |
| #11 | ✪ peepoKing | 47% | 51 |
| #12 | I HATE THIS GAME | 46% | 54 |
| #13 | stizza | 43% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stizza | 26 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Voilà | 23 | 0.0174 |
| #3 | V1nson | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | MARKYY | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | ✪ peepoKing | 9 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V1nson | 447 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | JACKZ | 250 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | MARKYY | 236 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | ʻO Noa ke aliʻi | 234 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | stizza | 211 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voilà | +8.36 | 89 | 56 |
| #2 | ʻO Noa ke aliʻi | +5.14 | 94 | 52 |
| #3 | JACKZ | +2.44 | 80 | 64 |
| #4 | ✪ peepoKing | +1.51 | 88 | 58 |
| #5 | Cicolini | +1.19 | 71 | 53 |





