








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,379 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1458 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1405 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2120 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1396 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $749,200 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 393 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REGGIE | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | ShittyBoyz | 63% | 73 |
| #3 | Капитан Ксарнекс | 61% | 51 |
| #4 | Lil Nutsack | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | C7 Toxic | 54% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Капитан Ксарнекс | 61% | 51 |
| #4 | Lil Nutsack | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | C7 Toxic | 54% | 57 |
| #6 | 789 UnSpOoF | 51% | 88 |
| #7 | good boy | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Капитан Ксарнекс | 11 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | 789 UnSpOoF | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | ShittyBoyz | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | C7 Toxic | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | REGGIE | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 789 UnSpOoF | 736 | 0.41 | 17 min |
| #2 | ShittyBoyz | 333 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | good boy | 123 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Капитан Ксарнекс | 120 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | REGGIE | 107 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REGGIE | +6.73 | 84 | 79 |
| #2 | ShittyBoyz | +2.58 | 72 | 76 |
| #3 | Капитан Ксарнекс | +1.26 | 73 | 33 |
| #4 | 789 UnSpOoF | +1.09 | 60 | 72 |
| #5 | Lil Nutsack | +0.66 | 62 | 41 |





