








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 342 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Wingman | 212 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,792 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2198 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4802 | 55% |
| HE Grenades | 1477 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 315 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,430,886 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeffreyMac | 54% | 39 |
| #2 | BrOkY Jr. | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | ShittyBoyz | 50% | 52 |
| #4 | Big Nutsack | 44% | 474 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeffreyMac | 54% | 39 |
| #2 | BrOkY Jr. | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | ShittyBoyz | 50% | 52 |
| #4 | Big Nutsack | 44% | 474 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Nutsack | 19 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | ShittyBoyz | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | BrOkY Jr. | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShittyBoyz | 286 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | JeffreyMac | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Big Nutsack | 15 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| #4 | BrOkY Jr. | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShittyBoyz | +2.70 | 71 | 75 |
| #2 | Lil Nutsack | +2.68 | 63 | 33 |
| #3 | JeffreyMac | +1.08 | 34 | 36 |
| #4 | BrOkY Jr. | +0.87 | 72 | 46 |
| #5 | Big Nutsack | -3.93 | 26 | 17 |





