








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Faceit | 133 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4090 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,989 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3705 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2776 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2277 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2231 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,298,946 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Капитан Ксарнекс | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | expyre | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | Mar | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | 789 UnSpOoF | 60% | 62 |
| #5 | ShittyBoyz | 54% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 789 UnSpOoF | 60% | 62 |
| #5 | ShittyBoyz | 54% | 52 |
| #6 | C7 Toxic | 47% | 87 |
| #7 | Psychorunt | 47% | 43 |
| #8 | relax | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 789 UnSpOoF | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Капитан Ксарнекс | 7 | 0.0156 |
| #3 | ShittyBoyz | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | C7 Toxic | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Mar | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 789 UnSpOoF | 480 | 0.36 | 12 min |
| #2 | ShittyBoyz | 299 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #3 | expyre | 115 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | relax | 83 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | C7 Toxic | 62 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShittyBoyz | +3.28 | 71 | 75 |
| #2 | Капитан Ксарнекс | +1.76 | 70 | 35 |
| #3 | 789 UnSpOoF | +1.37 | 61 | 74 |
| #4 | good boy | +1.11 | 74 | 53 |
| #5 | expyre | +0.21 | 49 | 58 |





