








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 757 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3463 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 615 | 8% |
| Smokes | 2477 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1879 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3200 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,268,736 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ADrxgon | 49% | 53 |
| #7 | ็ | 47% | 114 |
| #8 | DabCat.Dior | 47% | 255 |
| #9 | RD Sniper | 47% | 122 |
| #10 | anna | 42% | 146 |





