








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 625 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 195 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,646 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9844 | 37% |
| Smokes | 8031 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6490 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2281 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,075,038 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Argus | 48% | 98 |
| #5 | Gambit | 47% | 158 |
| #6 | Lil Pecker | 46% | 54 |
| #7 | YoungWolf | 43% | 51 |
| #8 | Dr. Decoy | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flash | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Gambit | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | R.Spec | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Argus | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Dr. Decoy | 3 | 0.0034 |





