








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 325 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1186 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2159 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2860 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1671 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $389,293 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freeze Cat | 65% | 40 |
| #2 | PancakeShake | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | That's Not Butter | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | Flash | 58% | 45 |
| #5 | Captain Canada | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gambit | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | UncleNaphy | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Flash | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Dr. Decoy | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Freeze Cat | 4 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UncleNaphy | 594 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Gambit | 565 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | Flash | 303 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #4 | R.Spec | 248 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | D3VO | 195 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PancakeShake | +4.79 | 73 | 68 |
| #2 | Captain Canada | +3.59 | 48 | 76 |
| #3 | That's Not Butter | +2.88 | 61 | 60 |
| #4 | R.Spec | +2.43 | 71 | 68 |
| #5 | Miles | +1.22 | 68 | 49 |





